Short and sweet

My dad's last dr appointment didn't go well. his o2 level was very low, and the dr freaked out. even though my dad's blood work came back fine, and his last xray looked clear, the dr decided to bring up the subject of hospice care. this completely devastated me, and long story short, he's coming back on June 3 to discuss it with us.

Dad has decided, and I agree, that he doesn't need that. He is feeling much better than he has been for a long time, and while he does have breathing problems at times, it's not to the point of completely throwing up our hands and giving up, the way the dr made it sound.

I am nervous about the appointment. i am nervous that it's going to be a disaster, and that the dr will say he no longer can treat my dad. which means...well, that we're screwed.

Winding Down...

My vacay hasn't been all that I had hoped it would be. Mainly because my dad has had a rough night every night since it started. I haven't done much. Haven't accomplished anything. Hell, I didn't even mow the lawn like i meant to the other day. Oh well...I honestly don't give a shit.

Kayla & Kevin's flight was canceled this morning, so they won't get into Florida until tomorrow. She has been getting closer and closer to telling me that she feels about Lee, the was she does about Dave. I expect the confession any day now.

Lee's Homecoming videos..remind me so much of when Dave went back to KC. So many aspects of Lee's time on Idol, and hell...just Lee the person, remind me in some way of DC.

Trying not to get too overly depressed about returning to work on Wednesday. My schedule sucks, no shock there. But, she gave me off on Saturday, which means I'm going to have 2 crappy paychecks in a row.

Life is otherwise uneventful. Which I guess, is a good thing for the most part.

Vacation

So, this is day 6 of my vacation, and so far it's been....okay. My dad has had a few rough days, but overall I guess everything is alright. i know, i sound so overwhelmed with joy. but, i'm embracing my miserable bitch side these days. I mean, I'm already counting down til I have to go back, and i *still* have over a week. I'm such a fucking dumbass.

Kayla has become obsessed with Lee on AI. I knew it was coming...though she tried to act like he didn't have any affect on her. but now he's basically all she talks about. she still won't admit to this now, but this is exactly how the obsession with DC started. By the time she comes out here in August...

Ugh...don't remind me about August. I'm fucking dreading it. Wow, I'm some best friend...dreading a visit with her. But, I'm just...a pathetic loner and don't deal well with bonding in person. LOL

More of the same...

The past month has been...crappy.

Lots of problems with my dad, stress with work...the usual.

I was really hoping that kayla wouldn't find out about Daughtry playing in AC while she's here in August. First of all, I'm not a fan, and secondly, I can't afford $200 for a fucking concert. But, thanks to Kevin, she knows. And i know what's going to happen....she's going to try and convince me to go. And even if we don't...she's bound to have a shit load of her drunk friends in town that she's going to want to hang out with. Just fucking great. As if i'm not dreading this weekend enough.

Yes...Kayla is my best friend. Yes...I want to see her. BUT....her being here for 4 days is going to be awkward. She knows I have to spend a lot of that time at home taking care of my dad, and I know she didn't feel comfortable when she was at my house 2 years ago. Yes, she's staying at the Borgata, but still...either she's going to end up spending the majority of her time at the hotel by herself (or more likely now, drinking with her other friends), or she'll be here pretending like she doesn't want to get the hell away. Plus, I was already stressing about how much the Kris Allen tickets were going to cost me...there is no way i can manage $200 (and that's through the Tropicana. If we had to get tickets through Stubhub, it would be a LOT more).

I honestly can't even stress about this right now. I was up all night with my dad, and I'm about ready to pass the fuck out.

Tomorrow

I plan on dropping the car off at the shop, and having him look at the brakes. I am PRAYING it's only warped rotors and nothing more serious/expensive. It's been only a year since i got the brakes done, so it would fucking piss me off to no end if i had to have them done already.

I need a little bit of good news for a change. :(

Short and Sweet

As if this week wasn't crappy enough already...the bank is dicking around with me again with my dad's check. if it's not in by morning, i have to drag my ass to the bank and fight with those assholes. again.

i can't stand this....

If i ever.......

...came on here to write happy things, that would be the day that someone can be assured that i have been abducted by aliens.

*sigh*

More problems with my dad. Now his blood sugar is running high. It was over 200 when all he had to eat was a bagel and coffee. He has literally been so good about watching the sugar lately, i don't understand what's going on? I mean...he drinks diet soda. Using sugar substitute in his coffee. He has cut WAY back on cookies etc, and still...his sugar is high. i was thinking maybe it had to do with him being on a higher dose of the water pill....he gets thirsty a lot and pees all the time. But he always does that when he takes the water pill. now I'm worried that it's not the water pill but the diabetes going crazy.

fuck. I don't know what to do. I mean, it seems like when i make adjustments for one problem, something else pops up and knocks me on my ass all over again. i feel like such a fucking failure. like no matter what i do....it's never enough. it's never the right thing for him.